I.....

tend to take things way too personally. I guess when i was a kid i never fully developed a outer shell that shields certain things. For example...if I feel rejected by a women ill tend to take it as "why me" instead of "her loss" and im not sure why im just built that way. I takes me longer to get over certain things. Sometimes i feel cheated by my peers when they joke on me. I tend to hold grudges. I enjoy a good fight. I hate the fact that i cant find the right person for me. Most of my friends tell me the same thing...its about apperence and how i present myself. WTF? like for real? i mean what am i supposed to do wear a suit everywhere? i dont understand that and i guess i never will. I know i tend to jump into things when my feelings are involved and the outcome is always negative. i have never once stood anyone up. Im always the nice guy...i tend to get smacked in the face alot and treated like a human doormat. This is why i have a rage towards certain people....its a quiet rage tho. Like i wont outright punch someone or something....i mean ill think about it and then simulate it in my mind for a while....but ill never do it because im a nice guy. Some people say im too nice and that that is my downfall. Women are extremely picky and im fucking tired of it. Im either to nice....or i rush things....wtf? there has to be some kind of middle ground where i can reach that women wont see it as being too nice or a total jerk....or being too slow or taking things at warp speed.

this is how i feel right about now....



like i just came off a really messed up heiron high and im crashing lol

till next time

-Tony-